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In harrowing scenes, Iran has launched a salvo of hypersonic missiles at Israel that have rendered the iron dome useless and caused explosions across the country. This unprovoked attack came after Israel peacefully committed a year-long genocide, bombed an embassy, destroyed schools, universities and hospitals, starved 2.1 million civilians, carried out multiple assassinations, murdered 162 journalists and 222 UN workers, built a centre dedicated to the rape and torture of prisoners, launched large-scale terror attacks in Beirut, and invaded Lebanon. Why is Iran like this?

Among Iran’s targets were military installations located in densely-populated areas of Tel Aviv. Outrageously, Israel has been accused by the worst people of using civilians as human shields. What kind of monster would use such insensitive language when people are dying? Please show some compassion.

In a horrific attack, a large number of Israeli civilians were gunned down in Tel Aviv earlier today. Every decent person should condemn this violence towards civilians, and every decent person has. Even the people who laughed when Lebanese children lost their eyeballs in the pager attack have condemned this violence.

Israelis are understandably terrified, having endured for one day what Palestinians have endured for one year. Everyone knows only Palestinians, and maybe Lebanese, should endure this level of suffering. We couldn’t just have… peace.

As all the sensible people keep telling us, a peace deal wouldn’t achieve peace, only this would: World War III. If you don’t understand this, it’s because you’re an idiot and a terrorist lover.

Thankfully, the newspapers have found their ability to name the attacker, now that someone who is not Israel is firing rockets. For a moment, I was worried they were going to describe this terrorism as “mysterious explosions in militant strongholds” and urge restraint from Israel.

Netanyahu was understood to be in good spirits in his luxury bunker as World War III got underway because sure, millions of innocent people around the world are going to die, but this is his best chance of avoiding those corruption charges. And that’s what matters, isn’t it?

Reassuringly, I’m told the prime minister has now been airlifted out of Israel and returned to the safety of his home country, Poland. This is how much Mileikowsky loves his people.

Israel’s de-escalation through escalation strategy is going well, isn’t it? So well, in fact, that I’m having an end of world party tonight. I mean why not? Personally, I think this is much better than the alternative which was not selling arms to Israel. If we’d done that, we wouldn’t have had the pleasure of 12 months of genocide, would we? Thank god the moderates made the right decision!

Anyway, who else can’t wait to be conscripted and used as a meat shield for Israel? If you’re worried you’re too old for conscription, at least your children can be called up. I hope you’re not too attached to them! At least they’ll be sacrificed for the best possible reason: the political career of someone everyone hates.

Netanyahu has reassured us that when Israel loses the war he didn’t start, he is going to push that nuclear button because the tens of thousands he’s killed so far, and the millions he’s about to kill, just aren’t enough. Might as well eradicate every multicellular lifeform on the planet. It’s either that or international arrest warrants and the Hague. I know what I’d choose in his position x

Original article: normalisland.co.uk